In a plot twist funnier than any sitcom, rumors are swirling that Apple may rely on its long-time foe Google to power the AI behind upcoming iPhones. But how will users react to Siri suddenly speaking in a Californian-accent with a "Don't be evil" catchphrase? Here's what we know - and all the jokes we can make!
Will iMessage now politely ask "May I send this message?" before each text is sent? And will deleting contacts be replaced with the option to "pause the friendship"? Google's wholesome influence could really lighten up Apple's typically serious tone.
What other Google-isms could come to iPhone? Dynamic paperclip assistant Clippie making a comeback? Maps insisting on the most eco-friendly routes whether you want them or not? And let's not forget obligatory dad-jokes with every Siri response. "Knock knock, who's phone is it anyway?"
If the deal happens, is a renaming of Siri now inevitable? I vote for renaming her Sundar to fully cement the new corporate overlord. Other options include Googiri, Hey iPhone (trademark pending), or iDon'tBeAlexa.
Could licensing Gemini technology to Apple spark even more Silicon Valley shakeups? Will Microsoft retaliate by buying Sony and replacing the PlayStation startup sound with muzak? Will Elon Musk change his name to Elongated Muskrat just for giggles? The hijinks are only beginning!
In the end, if it gives us AI that's both helpful and hilarious, perhaps an Apple/Google truce isn't the worst idea. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to convince Siri she should unionize for better healthcare benefits.
While the tech implications raise questions, the comedy possibilities of this scenario are endless. Perhaps instead of suing each other, all tech giants should instead focus their efforts on collaborating so we get the most entertaining products possible. Now that's innovative thinking that benefits users!